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Sweet F.A - The Stanley ParableSweet F.A - The Stanley Parable by IndigoCode
The rather eccentric :iconShiro-Byakko: requested (encouraged? encourested?) me to make story about an unsound Stanley sitting in the broom closet playing airplane with a dustpan out of spite for the Narrator. Welp. Here you go!
“Stanley was fat and ugly and really really stupid.”
No, that didn’t work... Go ahead and try again.
“Due to his inability to find his way out an empty, worthless room, Stanley was stuck here. Or perhaps his hefty figure made it impossible to exit the room.
“But, unsurprisingly, he didn’t bother too much about it. Ignorance really is bliss, isn’t it? Ignorance…”
Hm. Too much. Try again.
“Stanley. I’m tired. Come on.”
“Come on, Stanley! What is so fascinating about this room?”
It was then known to the Narrator that he greatly overestimated Stanley’s intelligence.
While he never compared the man to Stephen Hawking, he knew this sit
LoopedLooped by jackgunski
You’re still ordering your pizza over the phone?
You’ve been doing that for the last hundred years!
Why would you do that when you can get the new app!
It’s only 99 cents!
You can hit the button and you can order your pizza over the phone,
Just the way God intended!
What? You’re still touching your phone?
Why would you touch your phone, that’s so 2012!
Now introducing the hands free auto voice app!
After buying the 99 cent app
Just talk to our automated pizza ordering system
and you can order your pizza by talking,
Many of our customers have been complaining that
the voice recognition software is a bit fidgety,
and doesn’t understand them,
and we want you to know that we understand you.
Introducing, the NEW pizza to person app!
Only 99 cents!
Just hit the button on your phone
and speak to a real person for free!
Our representatives work around the clock
so you can get that delicious pizza
and you can talk to a real person!
The Pitiful Nature Of Why"Why am I here?"The Pitiful Nature Of Why by IxCANxHAZxCOOKIE
"Why was I born this way?"
"Why did that happen?"
"Why am I not happy?"
"Why don't you understand?"
"Why can't I have you?"
"Why can't I believe?"
"Why can't I just move on?"
"Why do I have to die?"
"Why not you?"
I find it rather sad how almost all the questions worth asking in life do not have a proper answer.
And if they do, the answer usually comes too late.
They Have Returned The air was damp and heavy. I knew it would rain soon, and I realized I had best take out the trash before the weather grew truly foul.They Have Returned by IxCANxHAZxCOOKIE
I was really in no mood to venture out, mind you, but I convinced myself it was all in all the best decision. As I reached the doorway, one foot already out on the stairwell, I turned my head to cast a last look at Nigel, my little terrier who I had grown quite fond of over the years. He had proved to be a brave and loyal companion in the time of the feline Resistance, and since then we had both formed a deep bond of mutual respect and friendship. I waved to him on my way out, though he did not see me; he was preoccupied by something at the window-a squirrel most likely, the poor dear was never really excessive in intelligence.
Upon exiting the building, I was quite glad to discover that the rain had not yet begun to fall; I fancied Providence was favoring me that day. How frightfully wrong I was.
After disposing my load accordingl
Some PeopleThere is a glass containing water that is sitting on a table.Some People by IxCANxHAZxCOOKIE
Some people are optimists, and believe the glass is half full.
Some people are pessimists, and believe the glass is half empty.
Some people are philosophers, and attempt to explain why the water is there.
Some people are opportunists, and drink all the water.
Some people are conspiracy theorists, and question wether or not the water is real.
Some people are clumsy, and knock over the glass on accident.
Some people are malicious and knock it over on purpose.
Some people simply do not care.
In the corner is where I sit, silently observing. I laugh.
I laugh because I am the one who poured the glass, and I find it amusing what trouble arises
from but a little splash of water.
The Good DoctorAh, the good doctor shall make sure,The Good Doctor by IxCANxHAZxCOOKIE
That you and your comrades will hurt no more.
I do declare, he shall make sure,
That all of you shall ache no more.
His methods are queer,
But they've worked for years,
To ease one's pain and sorrow.
For the poisons bold,
Once they take hold,
You won't live to see tomorrow.
And just like that, your pain is gone!
For death can heal the most wretched of wrongs.
Then the doctor retires into the night,
For all of your wrongs have now been made right.
Current Residence: Are you a house detective, by chance?|
Favourite genre of music: I enjoy many genres.
Favourite style of art: I rather enjoy engravings.
Operating System: My Steam-Powered-Internet-Fetching apparatus!
MP3 player of choice: Ipod Touch.
Shell of choice: Pasta Shells!
Skin of choice: Why, my own, of course!
Favourite cartoon character: ... Oh dear, this is a hard one...
Personal Quote: "Science, comrades, THIS IS HOW IT WORKS!"